Because Emmett is /not/ the sex, nor will he ever be.

It's quite annoying when your brothers are trying to get on your nerves and you're stuck living with them for eternity.

I don't know what I would have done if I had met them in my human life. I probably would have tried to murder them myself - or at the very least I would have made sure that I left wherever they were living far, far away from where I was living.

I'm sorry to say that I'm going to have to deal with them for the rest of eternity - I'd really rather not get Rose on my back by throwing Emmett as far as I can throw him (which is quite far) and Alice would see me before I could do anything to Jasper, and I can't do anything to avoid her pesky pixie ability to be everywhere and stop everything she doesn't want to happen.

So, unfortunately, I'm forced to humiliate them with these pointless surveys - and this particular one was rather obviously directed at Emmett.

THREE NAMES I GO BY
1. Edward
2. Ed
3. Eddiekins (never again, Emmett)

THREE JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE
1. Student
2. Almost a soldier
3. ::coughs inconspicuously and writes 'Lover' in the smallest of cursive lettering::

THREE PLACES I HAVE LIVED
1. Forks, Washington
2. Chicago, Illinois
3. Rochester, New York

THREE TV SHOWS THAT I WATCH
1. I'd really prefer to listen to music.
2. ::enjoys game shows when no one is in the house::
3. ::draws a clean, neat line through the third space::

THREE PLACES I HAVE BEEN
1. United States of America
2. England
3. Italy

THREE FAVORITE BOOKS
1. The Lord of the Rings trilogy
2. Shakespeare's works
3. I've learned to appreciate Wuthering Heights...

THREE FAVORITE MOVIES
1. ::sighs:: Like I said, I really do prefer music.
2. ::in small lettering he writes 'A Walk to Remember'::
3. ::whistles innocently and ignores this space::

THREE FEARS
1. Losing Bella. To anything, or anyone.
2. I think that's honestly my only fear.
3. ::is quite surprised with himself::

THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO
1. I've been everywhere I'd like to go already - now, I'd just like to stay safe with Bella by my side.
2. ::calmly draws a line through the rest of the numbers::
3. ::line is drawn through this::

THREE OBSESSIONS:
1. Bella Swan.
2. Playing music.
3. Composing music.

THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS
1. Would you really like to know what I enjoy feasting on?
2. ::figures that everyone knew already and writes in smaller letters:: Mountain lions.
3. Deer will do, when there's nothing else.

THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO
1. My wedding. ::grins broadly::
2. Seeing Bella again.
3. Making my fiancée my wife. ::grins again::

THREE PETS THAT YOU HAVE OWNED
1. I think I may have owned a cat when I was human.
2. Emmett - I like to think of him as my new cat. Quite docile, he is. ::smirks::
3. ::shakes head:: I've got nothing else.

THREE FRIENDS WHOM (I HOPE) WILL REPLY
1. Bella - ::grins:: I'd love to see her answers to this.
2. Alice - to get her irritated, trying to decide only three of her favourites.
3. Jasper - it'd be interesting to hear his answers.

THREE FAVORITE BANDS/SINGERS
1. Debussy
2. Harry Connick Jr. isn't bad.
3. Ben Folds - his softer songs are quite interesting to hear.

THREE FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH
1. Baseball, though it's never as exciting as when our family plays it.
2. Football - because it's quite the game to watch when there's nothing else on television.
3. I'd have to say hockey - a brief sojourn into Canada is quite the eye-opener.

THREE FAVORITE DRINKS
1. I'd have to say some wine.
2. Perhaps - a diet Coke? ::grins::
3. ::crosses this space out::

I was quite sure that was going to end that - but Jasper had to take it further, and I'm afraid we're in an all-out war. This will be quite amusing while it lasts - and I assure you, it will last until I win.